My bar cherry has been popped!

I really doubt I should even brag that my bar cherry has been popped, but I shall, considering my lazy ass hasn't updated this blog in awhile.

Late last night, a family friend hit up the bar, where he has a "bar family"- people he's known since he was "this high" according to the bartender, in a bowling alley a few blocks away from here.

So after getting done playing three rounds of Clue with my neighbors, I decide that Gman and I need to go down to the bar to shoot some pool with our friend.

I can tell you right now this was almost a mistake.

We were let in (after hours bowling alley lock down) and were shown the way to the bar. There was only a few peeps there. NoButtBi-girl, OnlyBiWhenShesDrunk-girl, two old farts, and our friend C.

Onlybiwhenshesdrunk-girl immediately came up and introduced herself to us, and claim to know me from somewhere. Upon closer inspection, and trying to imagine her as a normal sober person, I came to know who she was. She was from my hometown, and oh my god the girl about tackled me and dragged my ass to the pool table, before I grabbed her arm and tossed it off my shoulder. (I have a personal space bubble mind you.) She was to be stayed away from..

From there I knew things could only get worse. Trying to get into my blocked memory bank right now, and I can tell you when I peek in there, I remember motorboats, orgasmic moans, pretend strip teases, talks of bras and thongs, slow dances, lots of alcohol and noise-noise-noise. All between two girls who were loud and "look at me" enough that I'm surprised their great grandmas didn't roll over in their graves.

It was insanely annoying. Not that I'm a prude, but I just can't stand
Onlybiwhenshesdrunk-girls being little whores with anyone who talks to them, or old farts who encourage this behavior. Sorry guys, it's just lameo in the gameo.

I even lost at pool, and I was sober the whole friggin time!

Being an optimist at heart though, I can tell you now that I see some great things that happened last night.

1. I found out that I really like the type of non-whorish classy woman that I am.

2. Laughter is good for the soul and it was hilarious seeing our friend drunk.

3. That viewing "drunk in public bi-ism" is a great tool for celibacy .

4. Last but not least, Jamaican Dust and Harley shots are delicious!

So there ya have it folks, the night my bar cherry popped. I hope my next time at a bar, isn't like sloppy seconds in the wrong hole while they whisper someone else's name.

Just sayin'